Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed
i’m literally not close friends w anyone i’m sort of just like semi-friends w everyone
the difference between pizza and your opinion is that i asked for pizza
do you ever hear someone’s name and just
My dad and the emu
- My dad: I walked past an emu today
- Me: Seriously?
- My dad: Yeah, he looked sad
- Me: ... How does an emu look sad?
- My dad: He was crying
- Me: ...
- Me: ...
- Me: Oh jesus do you mean emo?
- My dad: .... I can't keep up with your hipster terms. They're always changing.
